Tuesday, January 25, 2011

PMS Sucks!

I think it's somewhat comical when guys comment on how horrible it is for them when women are PMSing.  Like it's a walk in the park for us!  HA!  You think I like being irrationally emotional.  You really believe that I want to cry at the drop of a hat.  You think I enjoy sounding like a crazy person???  And I'm a lot luckier than most women - I don't really have as many physical side effects of PMS that a lot of women have.  It just gets so frustrating sometimes feeling depressed and upset without being able to pin-point what is wrong, let alone know what to do to fix it!  If there were a magic button that would remove the angst and discontent, you'd better believe I'd be smacking it before you could even blink bucko!

Friday, January 14, 2011

Happy New Year!!!

Oh my word!  It's been so long since I've blogged!  I didn't write anything in December!  Oooops!  So sorry, although I seriously doubt anyone really reads this blog - it's just my outlet.  Anyway, things are going well and Christmas was wonderful.  Remington absolutely outdid himself and spoiled me rotten.  I told him I loved him - his reaction was priceless and is etched in my mind forever.  He really didn't understand what I was saying when I said that I had another gift to give him and that it was my heart.  He started to say "awwww," right as I said "I love you, Remington."  Time stood still.  His pupils widened and narrowed in disbelief and he had to ask "what did you say?"  I told him again and he replied "really?"  He was so happy he admitted to being close to tears, which made me love him even more!  We sat and hugged on the couch, talking quietly for the next 15 minutes.  It was my best Christmas ever. 

My mother has informed me that Griswald is not coming back to COMO with me, but will be staying here in KC with her!  Haha!  I knew this would happen!  That little booger just weasels his way into everyone's heart.  I think even Roxy will be sad to see him go (she was caught trying to get him to play with her the other day).

My preceptorship at Blackbob Pet Hospital is going great!  I really like it there!  My friend from college (Sarah Cochran Armstrong) has worked there as a technician for several years and we've had fun catching up!  I've gotten to perform several solo mass removals, removed some teeth, sutured wounds and surgical sites, and so much more!  It's an all female practice, but everyone gets along relatively well and I think that this is a practice where I could see myself working someday.  I've been contemplating becoming board certified in physical therapy.  I think it's an interesting up-and-coming field that I would like to be involved in. 

Bible study is going well.  We are studying the book entitled Love and Respect.  It has sparked a lot of good conversation between Rem and I.  We're really learning a lot about each other.  It can be a bit awkward in the group though, because his ex-girlfriend is also a part of the study.  She has created a little trouble (nothing that I can't handle or that would cause me to worry in any way, but just additional stress that needn't be there).  I know it's hard for her to see Rem and I together, so I do my best to be respectful and refrain from being overly affectionate with Rem when she is around but I feel like our relationship is under the group's collective microscope and that people are looking for ways that we try to hurt her.  It's annoying and hurtful.  Why are grown adults so incapable of minding their own business and not stirring up drama?

I'm learning just how insecure I am as a girl.  I've always know that I have some insecurities and that there were things about myself that I didn't like.  But it almost seems as if being in a relationship just magnifies those insecurities 100 fold.  It's so stupid and counter-productive.  Part of the reason they say men are attracted to a woman is because of her confidence.  So why do I lose mine when I finally get a man???  I feel like I constantly mess up and send him messages that tell him that I don't really trust him and that I don't really believe him when he tells me he loves me.  Then I feel like such a heel for giving that impression.  It's probably partly due to the fact that I've never been in a relationship before, which makes me feel bad all over again knowing that he has to deal with my irrational and somewhat immature behavior regarding certain issues.  I'm fairly grounded and logical, but sometimes I'm ashamed at what a weak woman I can be.

Anyway, I'm absolutely exhausted and really need to go to bed now.  I hope you enjoyed my lengthy update.  Until next time (which will hopefully be sooner rather than later)!