Saturday, June 26, 2010


There are a million thoughts and issues rolling around in my brain right now.

I'm super stressed because finals are this Tuesday and Wednesday.  I hate finals.  I really don't think I'll have any issues this block, I've set myself up pretty well this time, but it's still really stressful regardless.  Just seems like time's running out.

My finances are severly stretched to their limit.  So I now have to worry/decide whether to take out more money to get me through the summer.  I don't want to increase my debt load, but I also don't want to start bouncing checks!  Sigh...

And I don't know if it's hormones or what, but for about the last 3 weeks, I've really been struggling with wanting a man.  The real deal.  A God-centered, compassionate, strong, attractive man.  I want to be loved so bad it hurts.  I am so crazy busy, but am still so lonely and find myself feeling empty.  And I know that a man won't make the emptiness go away, but I want to love someone.  I want to be pursued.  I wish to be known by someone who won't turn away. 

These feelings weren't helped by the fact that my best friend got married last weekend.  I am really happy for her, but at the same time, this wedding was the hardest to watch.  Probably because I've never even met the groom and she's moving hundreds of miles away and who knows when I'll see her again.  It just felt so final.  I was happy that she found the man for her, but I was left feeling very alone and sad. 

I need to have a long vacation to sort through and get over all my inner turmoil.  Except this summer's line-up has me busier than ever (even if it is a fun kind of busy).  I haven't even had time to think about let alone look forward to my trip to Africa!  It'll be here sooner than I think!

Anyway, I'd better get back to finishing these clinical problems for my companion animal final... ug!

Friday, June 11, 2010

The Journey

Just because God calls you to do or be something doesn't mean that He will remove all of the obstacles you will face in becoming that person and following His calling.  Those trials and struggles, the times you feel like giving up, when you doubt you'll make it through the next day - that's when you find your faith.  And maybe God just wants you to take the journey, not to see the realization of the dream.  It's when you can accept His will and purpose no matter the outcome that you know you've truly let go of your desires and placed them in His hands once and for all.

And if our God is for us then who could ever stop us?
And if our God is with us then what could stand against?

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Surgical Goddesses

My surgery group rocks!  We finished first again this week (4 procedures in about 4.5 hours).  I wish I could have taken a picture of Randy's face when he saw that we were halfway done with cleaning up and wrapping packs when they were just finishing their castration.  His eyes about popped out of his head and it looked like he'd crapped his pants too!  Hilarious!  He was just so offended that we'd dare finish before him - he even asked Kim if we'd sutured everything!  Like we'd leave the dog with a gaping hole in his chest!  Bah!

It's not like we're trying to go fast so we finish before everyone else.  Our instructor even said that we were doing everything thoroughly and not making mistakes due to speed.  I can't really even pinpoint the reason we seem to fly though our procedures.  Maybe it's because we get together the day before and go through the procedure (but I know other groups do that too).  We always divide up the procedures and know which parts we're each going to do beforehand.  And we're not afraid to make mistakes.  We trust the instructions we've been given and we trust each other.  All in all, I'm pretty pleased with how surgery is turning out.

Being a doctor just might be fun after all!

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Down the Homestretch

This weekend was nice.  I got to spend a lot of time with my family and even got to see my little second cousins again.  They're getting so big!  And I am particularly proud of Roxy Carley.  She did so well with the babies!  She was cute and got super concerned when they would fall down!  She's adorable!  I hope she's around when I have kids!

Came back to school and immediately had a test and a quiz this morning.  Did pretty well on both, although I changed my answers on two of the test questions that I initially had right!  I hate it when that happens!  Tonight I have anesthesia till 5, tomorrow we have surgery till who-knows-when, and we have another big companion animal exam on Friday that I need to do well on.  No rest for the weary!  But on the bright side, I only have one more month left!  Then onto my last summer vacation ever!  :(  I guess that part's not so bright!

Well, class is about to start, so I'd better finish up.  I get to learn about how to give a cow a physical exam... hooray?