Tuesday, December 11, 2012

And Release....

After an evening in the Animal ER with Roxy, I discovered a tumor in her right lung nearly 2 weeks ago.  After a long day-trip to Columbia she was officially diagnosed with a primary lung carcinoma.  By this time, I had accepted the fact that my baby had something seriously wrong.  She didn't know she was sick, she was acting absolutely normal - that was good.  The abdominal ultrasound and CT showed no other tumors, no lymph node involvement, and no metastasis! 

So armed with that information and a heart full of hope, I gave my parents several days to think about what they would be willing to allow me do to for her.  I am so glad that they came to the same conclusion as I did - that surgery was her best option.  Last Wednesday, she underwent a lateral thorecotomy (they made an incision between ribs, pulled out her lungs and removed the entire caudal right lung lobe).  Seeing her after surgery was probably the hardest for me... she had a chest tube in, multiple IV's, and an oxygen tube stapled to her face.  It was heart-wrenching.

I now have her with me at my apartment for the duration of her 2 weeks of confinement.  Poor Jemma doesn't know what to do without her big sissy, but Dad is keeping her occupied with daily outings at the park.  She looks almost as good as new (except for the fact that she's practically bald on her entire right side)!  She's being her usual finicky self about eating, but is playful and as sweet as ever!  I am so glad that I found this tumor and that it is out of my precious dog!  We are still waiting on the pathology results to find out if the type of tumor requires chemotherapy. 

God is good and I will be grateful for whatever extra time I have with my beloved Roxy Carley!

Tuesday, November 27, 2012


Smoke.  Like thick mist through a distorted, broken piece of glass.   Swept away.  All air is gone, my breath was stolen from me.  Sweet dreams and expectations vanish in the blink of an eye.  With the snap of a picture my future is emptied.  Struggle, gasp, and push through the pain of frightening possibilities.  Begging,… praying,… pleading,… for silver linings and sudden miracles.  My baby…  my beautiful one…  I can’t bear the thought of losing you.  Forever isn’t nearly long enough.  Stay with me a while longer.  Please, I beg you.  Stay.

Monday, November 12, 2012

Newest News

Well, I've been busy practicing for about 4 months now...  Sometimes it's wonderful and I can't believe how lucky I am, other times its frustrating and exhausting.  This place, like others I've been at, is inefficient due to management issues.  I love most of the staff though and they work really hard at making it a great clinic to work at. 

My apartment is slowly taking shape.  The back room is nearly finished, just have to re-do the bench to my great grandma's desk.  Need to hang some art in my bedroom and the kitchen.  All that's really left is finding artwork for the wall behind the couch and curtains for the living space.  The new coffee table and end tables are coming this Thurs.  Other than that, it looks like a put-together grown up apartment!

Rem and I are doing great.  Realizing more and more everyday that this is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with.  He's absolutely wonderful and supportive.  I drive him crazy with my "box" and he pushes me to my limits with his ways of thinking and risk taking.  We are so good for each other.  I'm excited heading into this holiday season.  I always love planning things (especially how I'm going to spoil him). 

Anyways, I"m at work and probably need to get off the computer and see if my appointment is here yet.  Write more later...

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Quick Update

Well, my decision didn't turn out to be too hard in the end.  I went with the one where I would have doctors there 24/7 even if it is a busy clinic.  I was really disappointed with the lack of professionalism of the other clinic.  It's not like I hadn't known this, having worked there previously, but I was let down because I really wanted it to work out there.

Anyways, onwards and upwards.  I've got my KS license and am "ready" to start work in July.  I say "ready" because no matter how much brushing up, studying, and reviewing I do, I will never ever feel prepared to do this.  I know it's just something I have to jump into.  Say a prayer and hope for the best.

Katie Darr, I would love any advice since you've been practicing a while now :)  PS - looks like we were both freaking out about not finding jobs for nothing.  God certainly does provide.

Thursday, May 31, 2012

Major Life Decisions!

Ug!  I am so stressed out!  I got an official offer from a clinic here today via e-mail and another is in talks.  I had been thinking that I'd prefer option A over where I used to tech (option B).  I've been talking with them about taking a position there as well.  There are so many things to consider and let's face it, me being who I am, I'm terrified of both options!

Do I take more money for more hours where I will always be on with 2 other Dr's at a very busy practice who may or may not have time to help me if I have questions. Option A.

Or should I take a little less money for less hours with a few staff that I love at a clinic with HORRIBLE management.  I'd basically be by myself for 2.5 days a week, but it's slower and there's a potential to buy it in a few years. Option B.

Grrrrr!  I would just like God to tell me which would be best and where I will be less stressed.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Introducing..... Dr. Najarian!!!

Yay!  I did it!  I actually did it!  I'm done with school and am now officially a Doctor of Veterinary Medicine!  There is still so much that is unknown in regards to my future, but I am enjoying my victories thus far and trusting God to lead me where he wants me next.  

Graduation weekend was wonderful.  Pretty much my entire family was there (birth family included).  My best girl-friend Katie came all the way from Oregon!  It was so good seeing her, I miss her so much and she is always such a blessing to me.  

I loved seeing how proud Rem was as I walked down the isle during the graduation ceremony.  He had the BIGGEST smile on his face, which in turn made my smile even wider!
I am the luckiest girl in the world to have such a loving and supportive family and friends.  I absolutely love that we all get along so well.  We fit together like we've been living and celebrating together for years!  The wonderful weekend ended with lots of packing and cleaning.  Rem was a great help.  It's so weird having someone besides my parents be there to help me and encourage me.  Don't get me wrong, I like it and wouldn't trade it for anything.  In all my dreaming, I just never thought that it would feel this good.

Moving back home is interesting to say the least.  Don't have near the amount of space that I did at my apartment in Columbia - the loss of my enormous closet makes me want to cry.  I really want a puppy, but Rem is right in that I should probably wait until I know where I'm going to be and if I have the time and money to invest in a new dog.  But that doesn't mean that I won't encourage my parents to get one!  I'll at least get my puppy fix that way!

Anyway, there will be tons more changes coming my way soon, I'm sure.  I'll try to write more often as I know I've been neglectful lately (sorry).  Till then keep safe and trust God.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Mad About March

Sorry it's been so long since I blogged!  Not that too many people really pay attention to what I write.

March is my favorite month, especially this year!  Rem's birthday was great and then we left for Florida a few days later.  Vacation was wonderful.  We stayed in Ft. Lauderdale and took a short cruise to the Bahamas.  The hotel and cruise weren't fantastic, but the company and good times were.  Rem and I had a great time together - I can't wait to do it again! 

I realized that I don't want to be away from home on my b-day again, though.  It really wasn't celebrated because we were out of town, but my parents did take us out when we got back to make up for it.  And there was cake! :) 

Other than that, I've had 4 more interviews for an associate veterinary position.  I really like one in Independence, but the owner is unsure that she can afford a full time associate.  I spent all day yesterday at one in Gardner, and it was pretty nice too, but the Dr. is a bit more intimidating.  I'm trying to trust God's timing and have faith in my abilities as well.

Anyway, it's exciting that I only have one more month of school left.  Soon, I'll have to change this blog's description because I won't be a student anymore.  I'll be a doctor!

Thursday, January 26, 2012

To: A Friend Long Gone

It breaks my heart that you gave up on us,
It hurts to know you never really tried.
We were so close for so long
I never thought you’d throw it all aside.

Was I ever anything more than a fan of yours?
Did you ever care about more than you?
I was under the impression that I was there,
That my feelings and opinions mattered too.

I can see you’ve moved on and I’ve been replaced
With several others who’ll give you your due.
Just don’t expect me to jump up and celebrate
And run back whenever you want me to.

The loyalty I once felt is faded,
Worn down from years of abuse.
I’ve grown up and accepted your choice;
For your fickle “friendship” I no longer have use.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Holy Crap!

Yesterday someone pointed out that in exactly 4 months I'll be a doctor!  Wow!  I can't believe it!!!  It doesn't seem like it's been almost 4 years!  And as exciting as it is, I'm not sure I feel ready - in fact I know I don't feel ready.  I'm jugling the busy work that accompanies this block and trying to get everything together so I can finally send out my resumes this weekend.  Yikes!  Anyway, I'm writing this between classes, so I'd better go, I'll try and write more later!