Thursday, March 25, 2010

Falling in Love

Oh, Jesus, I am falling in love with you! I feel your presence all around me now, in this room, at this hour. I hunger for your Holy Word and thirst for the righteousness you give! I thank you for renewing my sprit and drawing me near to you. There is nothing that compares to you God! No one could ever take your place! You are holy and mighty! I find peace under your wings and at when I sit quietly at the foot of the cross.

Teach me, Father. Shine the light of your mercy and understanding on me. I will bask in your glory and grow in the knowledge of who you are and what you have done. I will claim your promises as truth for my life and my future! You have made a covenant with us, God!

“I will put my laws in their minds and write them on their hearts. I will be their God and they will be my people. No longer will a man teach his neighbor, or a man his brother, saying, ‘Know the Lord,’ because they will all know me, from the least of them to the greatest. For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.”

Praise God! Thank you Jesus for taking my place!!! I do not deserve such mercy and grace. I want to know your laws and carry them with me in my heart. I want to be hemmed in by You, Father. I want to become one with you – take over my person, Lord. Permeate every part of me! Have your way with my life. Lead me, guide me, change me, perfect me. I am a broken vessel before you. I give myself over to you. My plans are nothing next to yours. I trust in your unfailing goodness. I testify to your faithfulness and protection.

I know that this overwhelming desire is from you, Jesus. Thank you for wanting me. Thank you for revealing yourself to me. Please help me to remember times like this when I face mighty rivers that threaten to drown me and roaring fires that try to consume this Love that I have found. Carry me through the darkness. I will rely on you. I will trust in your promises. You will be my strength. Amen.

Friday, March 19, 2010

Consecration Hymn

Take my life, and let it be
Consecrated, Lord, to Thee.
Take my moments and my days;
Let them flow in ceaseless praise.

Take my hands, and let them move
At the impulse of Thy love.
Take my feet, and let them be
Swift and beautiful for Thee.

Take my voice, and let me sing,
Always, only, for my King.
Take my lips, and let them be
Filled with messages from Thee.

Take my silver and my gold;
Not a mite would I withhold.
Take my intellect, and use
Every power as Thou shalt choose.

(Here am I.  All of me. 
Take my life.  It's all for Thee.)

Take my will, and make it Thine;
It shall be no longer mine.
Take my heart, it is Thine own;
It shall be Thy royal throne.

Take my love; my Lord, I pour
At Thy feet its treasure-store.
Take myself, and I will be
Ever, only, all for Thee.

(Here am I. All of me.
Take my life. It's all for Thee.
Here am I.  All of me.
Take my life It's all for Thee.
Here am I.  All of me.
Take my life.  All of me.)

More to come...

Tuesday, March 16, 2010


I absolutely HATE allergies!!!  The past three days have been just awful.  First I'm stuffy, then I can't get to a kleenex fast enough!  Itchy watery eyes and sneezing every 5 minutes to boot!  Sigh, it's not even really spring yet!  What in the world are my sinuses going to do to me then!?!

I just finished reading "The Last Song" by Nicholas Sparks.  Finally!  A good ending!  Dear John stunk!  Although I haven't seen the movie yet.  I hope the Last Song movie is good and that Miley Cirus doesn't mess it up.  The boy in it certainly is good looking (although I guess he and Miley are dating in real life, which shows his lack of taste)!

I like to see the way God is at work in my life.  Just when I think I need to take control of a situation because He isn't letting me in on the plan, things change.  Christina and I had a good talk about that last night.  I need to learn to truly WAIT on Him and leave my worries securely in His hands.  To surrender my burdens and quit trying to pick them back up when God doesn't seem to be moving at a quick enough pace.  Trust.  Faith.  Waiting.  A tough assignment for a girl like me.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Ahhh, Sweet Relief!

I love days off of school!!!  Waking up late, taking a leisurly shower, spending extra time getting ready (for the bunch of ABSOLUTELY NOTHING I have to do today!).  Ok, so I do have a short to-do list for this afternoon.  Clean up the house becuase my best friend Christina is coming to spend the night!  Yay!  It's going to be so much fun!  I think I might even go see a movie this afternoon - I never get to with my crazy vet school life!  And I should study a little, but like that's gonna happen!

Have some more things to write.  Discoveries, revelations, venting.  But I'm not sure I can, not now anyway.  Maybe when I decide what to do about it.  If I SHOULD do anything about it, because, does it really matter?  Will it make it better (probably not).  Unfortunately nothing will.  So now I have to make a decision, because I need an end.  I'm a happy ending kind of gal, but at this point any end will do.  And if I have to be the one to end it, fine.  But do I need an end because I just would like one, or do I feel I deserve one.  Does it need to end so that I can stop defining myself by what others think of me?  Shouldn't I be able to do that last bit no matter what?  Good questions.  I'll have to think about it.

And in answering these questions, I will be brutally honest with myself.  I will not hide my head in the sand, avoiding my problems and my own flaws.  I will not blame it on someone else.  I want to understand myself so that I can change and become more like the woman God wants me to be.  That requires facing my fears, coming to terms with and fully exploring myself, even the dark corners that I am afraid of.  And through it all I know He will be there, right beside me.  Holding my hand and shining  His light in those places that need His transforming power.  The process may be painful, and I may not like what I find - but it will be worth it.  Becoming like Him is always worth it.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Psalm 139

Lord, you have examined me and know all about me.  You know when I sit down and when I get up.  You know my thoughts before I think them.  You know where I go and where I lie down.  You know everything I do.  Lord, even before I say a word, you already know it.  You are all around me - in front and in back - and have put your hand on me.  Your knowledge is amazing to me; it is more than I can understand.

Where can I go to get away from your Spirit?  Where can I run from you?  If I go up to the heavens, you are there.  If I lie down in the grave, you are there.  If I rise with the sun in the east and settle in the west beyond the sea, even there you would guide me.  With your right hand you would hold me.  I could say, "The darkness will hide me.  Let the light around me turn into night."  But even the darkness is not dark to you.  The night is as light as the day; darkness and light are the same to you.

You made my whole being; you formed me in my mother's body.  I praise you because you  made me in an amazing and wonderful way.  What you have done is wonderful.  I know this very well.  You saw my bones being formed as I took shape in my mother's body.  When I was put together there, you saw my body as it was formed.  All the days planned for me were written in your book before I was one day old.

God, your thoughts are precious to me.  They are so many!  If I could count them, they would be more than all the grains of sand.  When I wake up, I am still with you.

This Sunday my church received its new pastor, Rev. Rick Power.  He preached a wonderful message from 1 John 3:1-3.  He said that God does not name us based upon who we've been or even who we are.  He calls us and names us according to what we are becoming!  Isn't that amazing?  That my Father, the God who knows me both inside and out, has a special name for me.  And that the name is not based upon the horrid person I was or the struggling person I am, but it is a beautiful name encompasing the Hope that God has for me.  A name of becoming.  A name only He knows.  A name He will help me grow into.