Wednesday, January 27, 2010


Studying finally paid off!  I got a B on a really difficult test today.  I was worried because the quizes in this class have been rather difficult lately.  But the short 3 hours of sleep I got last night was worth getting my B.  It's so rare that my efforts pay off.  So many days I feel like I push myself to the limit and have nothing to show for it.  The next time I feel that way though, I'll try and remember today to keep from getting too discouraged.

Some of my girlfriends and I were de-friended on facebook by a mutual friend who recently was married.  He claims to know nothing about how it happened, but I just find it odd that a computer glitch would single the 3 of us out at the same time - weird.  Whatever, I really didn't have time to think about it or wonder why he was being stupid.  Not that I really care anymore anyway.  I'm glad that part of my life is over!

I lost a bet on Monday. My boys lost to those stupid birds in Lawrence.  Sad day.  But we'll set things straight when they come to our house!  GO  TIGERS!!!

My Mommy is coming to visit me this weekend!  I need a good dose of home.  I won't be back until valentine's day weekend at the earliest - and that's still undecided.  I really wanted to get a group together to go dancing that Saturday night, but I just got an Oasis e-mail about plans to go to a Japanese place and then the comedy club (which I hope they realize might be a little iffy with all the love-making jokes that will  most definitely be thrown around).  The dancing is happening on Friday night too, so maybe we could still go - I think it would be so much fun!

Anyway, I have a quiz tomorrow, so I'd better read through my notes and get to bed!

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

So. Stressed. Right. Now.

All I wanna do right now is pull my hair out!  We just picked clinical rotations (which had me panicked).  The one I ended up with is alright except that my Path rotation isn't until after the NAVLE (boards).  And I only managed to get one of the 8 week blocks as a free block.  Oh well, I think I can handle everything else about it.

I'm studying for a quiz that I'm gonna take early and get it out of the way because I have another quiz and a test tomorrow.  I'm just paranoid and freaking out about grades already - this block is really tough.  I'm enjoying radiology and clinical pathology, but there's just a lot to learn in such a short amount of time!  And at this point pharmacology is just a pain in the butt.

Ahhhhh!  Oh well, God will see me through somehow (and hopefully with all of my hair still on my head)!

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Losing Her

Smile, though your heart is aching.
Smile, even though it’s breaking.
When there are clouds in the sky, you’ll get by
If you smile through your pain and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You’ll see the sun come shining through for you

Light up your face with gladness.
Hide every trace of sadness.
Although a tear may be ever so near
That’s the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what’s the use of crying?
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile, if you just smile

I’ve been sitting here, listening to this song over and over for the last hour - crying and looking at pictures of my beloved Brina. How can my heart still hurt so much? Has it really been a year? I’ve started writing about her, but couldn’t bring myself to finish my work tonight, so I borrowed someone else’s. Originally written by Amy Waggoner, I’ve tweaked it a little to honor my girl. I hope when I finish my personal tribute to Brina, it will be as beautiful as this one.

                         Losing Her

There’s a hole in my heart where my dog used to be.
She nuzzled my soul and is now a part of me.
Her pain is her life and I know what to do.
But when I release her, I’m losing me too.

The puppy I cradled five short years ago
Is a ninety-pound bundle of love and I know
That she’d lick away all my tears if she could.
It’s her sense of duty to make me feel good.

It’s my obligation to do what is best.
The love of her “master” is put to the test.
It’s a wrenching and sorrowful way that we part;
It doesn’t hurt less when the head rules the heart.

There’s a hole in my heart where my precious baby girl passed through.
Brina, when I said “goodbye”, a part of me went with you.