Tuesday, October 20, 2009

I need a man

I wrote this while I was driving home from KC this past Sunday night. I wasn't feeling particularly lonely or desirous of a boyfriend. This just kind of seemed to come together in my head as a drove, so I thought I'd better make a memo so I wouldn't forget what I was thinking at the time. Here it is unedited.

I want a man willing to risk his life, never his reputation or honor. Someone who will gamble with his heart and not his wallet. I want a man with a vision and a willingness to incorporate my dreams and abilities into that vision. A leader who will guide and support me with gentleness and understanding. A man who is strong but chooses to open himself to vulnerability. I need a man who wants me more than anything but is independent enough to stand on his own. I want a man who has discipline and self-control who is not swayed by unhealthy desires or passions. A man who is loyal and is committed to protecting and nurturing what is his.

Is there a man out there like this? I sure hope so. In order to be worthy of him, there are always things I need to be working on as well. Tonight I worked on my baking skills! We're having a fundraiser tomorrow for our South Africa trip. Hopefully people buy my stuff!!!

Monday, October 19, 2009

Playing Catch-Up!

So, the past two weeks have been absolutely horrible. Sleepless nights, worry, stress, and hours upon hours of studying that didn’t pay off. I got my first D in vet school. Very disappointing and embarrassing. I know this doesn’t mean I’m gonna be a bad doctor, but I still feel ashamed somehow. I know I’m not the only person who got a D, and I know there are some people who might be out for good unless the test was curved. I hope it is. I only need 7 points for a C.

I’m determined to do better this block. Gonna start studying tonight. Going to get organized and get to work! I know it’s not going to be any easier than last block, but hopefully if I get a head start, things will turn out better. I think I’ve even found a study buddy. That’s one thing that I haven’t had here at vet school. Whenever I used to study with people, I always felt inadequate and slow. Hopefully studying early with Katie will help me.

This weekend was pretty amazing though. I enjoyed not having to think about school at all. It was nice to be able to hang out with friends at home and not have to hurry back to Columbia to study for a test. Roxy Carley was super excited to see me this weekend. It was soooo cute! I love her more than anything and wish she could come live with me in COMO! We’re getting our pictures taken during Thanksgiving break! I can’t wait!

Haha! I bought some sweaters/jackets for Griswald this weekend!!! Now I wouldn’t normally torture a regular cat, but Griswald is anything but regular. He’s now an official therapy cat! He’s passed all his behavior exams and is ready to go on visits to the local retirement homes. So, since it’s getting cold outside and he’ll be doing more traveling this winter, I thought it only appropriate to get him a sweater or two! And a t-shirt, two jackets, and an elf outfit for Christmas….hehe – I know it’s pathetic! But also hilarious!!!

I’m also trying to decide whether to stay longer in Africa this summer. Not sure it’s going to work out. Not enough people are decisive about it and I am definitely not comfortable hanging out on my own in a strange country. Good news is airfare is $600 cheaper than we originally thought!

Have lots of annoying meetings this week. They just eat up time. Oh well, at least I get free food at most of them!

That’s really all that’s been happening in my neck of the woods these days. Wish me luck this block!

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Wesley was a smart man

"O God, fill my soul with so entire a love of Thee that I may love nothing but for Thy sake and in subordination to Thy love. Give me grace to study Thy knowledge daily that the more I know Thee, the more I may love Thee. Create in me a zealous obedience to all Thy commands, a cheerful patience under all Thy chastisements, and a thankful resignation to all Thy disposals. Let it be the one business of my life to glorify Thee by every word of my tongue, by every work of my hand, by professing Thy truth, and by engaging all men, so far as in me lies, to glorify and love Thee." ~John Wesley

I'm starting a new accountability group tomorrow. Nervous and excited to see how things go. I don't know any of these ladies. Maybe that will turn into a good thing. I'm doing this so that I may grow closer with my God and purposefully seek him on a more regular basis. Groups like this allow you to open up and share motives behind thoughts and deeds - I hope that I can be vulnerable enough to share so I might be corrected in love and guided in the light.