Quick Update

I’m so exhausted right now! Good news is that I did okay on my second equine exam (not as high as I had hoped, but decent). Now finals will be just a tiny bit less stressful. I still have a ton to get done this week, especially since I’m going home again this weekend! I’ve got a quiz and a test, plus starting to study for next week’s big food animal cumulative final!

Things with Remington are going well. I’m getting more and more of my questions answered. He’s so sweet and we really get along well. He’s been attending a new weekly Bible study with some other people from my church back home. I like that he’s a part of it even though I’m not there and didn’t suggest it or anything – it’s totally his initiative and interest. I wish there was someone more spiritually mature he could trust and talk to. I don’t think he’s had much input from godly men with Christian worldviews in his life and no offense, but the young adults in our class just don’t cut it either.

I still haven’t let my heart go completely, although it’s on a much longer leash these days! :) I think I’ve come to a realization. All of my past experiences have just been crushes (some of them very big and serious crushes). The fun thing about a crush is that a relationship with that person is highly unlikely or nearly impossible for various reasons. Because of this, it’s a lot less risky to let your emotions have a foothold. You don’t have a real relationship with the other person (at least not a romantic one) and things aren’t going to escalate to a point where any major decisions need to be made.

I think part of the reason that I am so hesitant is that this relationship is REAL. I’m not dating Rem just to have a boyfriend. I’m asking myself questions that eventually all lead to “can I marry this man?” The possibility that the decisions I make now could have a huge impact on my future weigh heavily on my mind. And who says love has to strike you like lightning? Maybe an attractive, sweet, quiet man will let you know he cares for you. Maybe you’ll get to know him and want to care for him too. Maybe you’ll be good partners; maybe you’ll become best friends. Maybe sometimes love grows slowly. And maybe, being the careful and serious girl that I am, that is what is best for me.